Have you ever asked yourself this question? Why do you love me Lord? Out of all people why me? What is it about me Lord, that makes you love me so much?
I asked God this today and I was not prepared for the amount of emotions this would bring. Tears did not just come down my face, NO tears flooded down my face. I felt so many emotions at ones and with it no understanding why God would choose me!!!
And then God started to explain to me why I had gone through so much hardship in my last relationship and life. Let me take you onto this journey of a story that exceeds any kind of love we have ever experienced.
When I woke up this morning things were different, I did not follow my usual routine of greeting God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit first thing and thanking him for this day, 5 minutes of gospel music, 15 minutes reading bible and a daily devotional and seasoning my time with God with prayer. No this morning I greeted God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, then I read a daily devotional on an app I downloaded yesterday and then I continued preparing my kids for school. I remembered to pray in the car when we were doing bible study as usual every morning on our way to school/work. As I’m off today I decided to bring my kids to school and then go by the beach to spend time with God.
I sat in my car and at first not knowing what to pray, however then the Holy Spirit took over. I confessed my fear to God, a fear I have had for the past 2,5 years and has made me closed up towards any man that would even think of being interested in me.
For the past weeks my oldest daughter keeps telling me that this guy in church keeps watching me and passes by my side as much as possible. My daughter also pointed out to me that I show no interest and that she has asked herself why I reject the thought of even smiling with a man. She then continued with the question: if this is not me blocking any blessing God would want to sent my way? I thought about this and then just tucked it away with saying you must of read the signs wrong.
Then yesterday my 6 year old daughter nudged me and said mommy that man over there is watching you, needless to say the same man my oldest daughter has been telling me about all these weeks.
So today during my time with God I confessed to God that I’m scared of dating and getting married because I don’t want to fall into my old life where I would make men I was in relationship with an Idol and place God on the shelve, for reference when needed. I cried and I told God that I don’t ever want to place him on a shelve again but keep him as first love in my life. That I love and need God and that I’m scared that God would allow me to drift away again, like my old habit where I always left somebody before they could leave me. I told God that I would not want that with him, that I knew the Bible says that he would never leave us or forsake us and that I know his words are true but that I’m scared I would leave him and God allowing it would feel the same as him leaving me.
Deuteronomy 31:8 (NKJV) And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”
I let God know that I’m scared of allowing somebody in my life as I’m not sure the old controlling Romy is gone, the Romy that would not trust a man, the Romy that would manipulate a man to do her will. And I let God know that I’m not sure if I would keep my priorities and responsibilities in order as I had failed to do so often in my past relationships…….. I cried as the sadness fludded my heart with all the grief and hurt I had caused to God, just thinking back on it made me feel so bad.
God then answered me and said: my princess pick up your bible and read: Isaiah 5:6 Which says: Isaiah 5:6 (KJV) And I will lay it waste: it shall not be pruned, nor digged; but there shall come up briers and thorns: I will also command the clouds that they rain no rain upon it.
And I understood nothing of what God was trying to say to me, I thought he was pointing out that he was going to cut me off, take away his protection and his blessings. I also sat there thinking how this could maybe be about my job, in which things are a little Rocky right now.
It’s amazing how good God truly knows us. I started to research the meaning of the verse and soon found out it should be read starting from verse 5:1. As I read the commentary on Isaiah 5:1-7 God spoke to me and showered me with his love. God brought me back to my last relationship 2,5 years ago with the father of my 2 kids and God showed me that in that relationship I had made this man my idol and had left God on the shelve, during this time God had not pruned me, had allowed thorns to grow and had taken away the rain from me. Well in a vineyard nothing can grow like this and this was exactly what happened in my life at that time. God had taken away the people that had always ministered to me and he had allowed me to let my own sinfull nature take over. I stopped going to church and God had taken away any of his blessings towards the fruits of the Spirit in my life. In short I was miserable and felt like waste, not much alive at all.
Reading Isaiah 5:1-6 made me discouraged for a little while, ugh the enemy sometimes knows how to do that, however God led me to continue read the explanation and I found joy when I read: However this is not the end of it, it’s for God to turn a situation around – how amazing is that? 😊😂
God then led me back to reading Isaiah 5:7 in my bible which says: (NKJV)For the vineyard of the Lord of hosts is the house of Israel, And the men of Judah are His pleasant plant. He looked for justice, but behold, oppression; For righteousness, but behold, a cry for help.
And the “BUT BEHOLD, A CRY FOR HELP” is what spoke to me so much, because that had been me in that relationship. I had cried for months to God to get my out of that relationship, to allign my heart with God’s heart. I then realized that God had never left me and that his plan for my life never changed. God changed his approach towards me when I had left his road -TO BRING ME RIGHT ON TRACK AGAIN, BACK ON HIS ROAD.
All the while when I thought that God had allowed me to move away from him, I did not move at all. To the contrary God had me right in the palm of his hands. God had changed his approach to bring me right back running towards his arms, that had been embracing me all this time eventhough I had left him – sitting on that shelve.
And I asked – why God? what is it about me that makes you love me so much? And God said: Romy it’s not about you, it’s about me. YOU ARE MY PRINCESS, MY DAUGHTER AND I LOVE YOU AS YOUR FATHER, I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH AND THAT WILL NEVER STOP!
God continued and said: My princess you have no need to fear, stay close to me and I will make sure that I prune you, take away any thorn from your mits and I will make it rain on you to grow you into the woman I need you to be. Because I know that you will use this to write about it for my glory and for the advancement of my kingdom. The same thing I knew that if I would give you a verse you did not understand that you would study it – seek and you will find – AMEN!
Matthew 7:7-8 (NKJV) Keep Asking, Seeking, Knocking “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.
I don’t know what the meaning of this guy in church (watching me) is, my daughter and her friend think that he is the one and that I’m his missing rib ( So romantic 😊). Well I don’t know about all of that, however I do know this for sure: that I gave my life to God and that his will is best no matter what his will may be. I thank God for his perfect will to be done in my life, for HIS glory and the advancement of HIS kingdom – praise the Lord Almighty.
I hope this may help somebody. As I have informed before this journey with God is AMAZING, I never knew we could fall so deeply in love and be completely filled to the rim with the love of Jesus. I wish I had given my life to God when I was young, nevertheless God is always right on time.
Let me ask you, would you like to have a relationship with God like this? YES???? Okay Praise the Lord. Let’s start with – Did you accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour in your life? Let me tell you since I did life has been an amazing Journey – not easy but surely the best ever. Want to accept Jesus but don’t know how? Write me, I would be happy to pray with you. Savedandblessed.email@example.com
This is only one of my many stories where God’s love is so vibrant and so true. Feel free to read any of my stories – which matter of fact are truths of my life, not always easy to share but nothing short from real.
Remember God loves you much❤️
Saludos, Romy Ras