Who feels left out by God in their single season? Who thinks that God must of forgotten them?
Sometimes when people say wait on the Lord it seems so easy. However when you are in it and you desire marriage it’s definitely not easy. We could be fine for a period of time being happy being single. Yes now I can do what I want, nobody to tell me what to do, I can go where I want, come home when I want, cook when I want or not at all. We think this is great. And then the months pass by and pass by and pass by. And all of a sudden we don’t feel that great anymore, we start to feel lonely, we start to think that nobody wants us – we get discouraged.
Then the next thing is handed over to us: we start to notice that men & women truly serving God are hard to find. I mean we truly love God right? So this means that we want a partner that loves God as well. A partner that follows God and is passionate about serving Jesus and not just any kind of companion, correct? So now we get more discouraged.
Then the next thing is presented to us. Not everybody that says they follow Christ believe in staying celebate before marriage (people who don’t engage in sexual activity until Marriage) and we now went from being discouraged to thinking we completely lost it and are like aliens (very crazy) For those that dare to talk to unbelievers about their commitment to stay celibate until marriage to obey God, Will definitely start to think they are crazy. Unbelievers won’t understand it and will have many (negative) things to say about it.
So we then come to a crossroad with a choice to make: which road will we follow? Do we remain on God’s road or do we detour and settle for what the world has to offer? Anybody struggling with this right now continue to read my post please 😊
Allow me to talk to you about my own experience. I hope God can use my story to bless some people that he guided towards reading this.
I was that Girl, ( I will explain later why I say girl here) standing on that crossroad and the enemy presented exactly what I wanted, or so I thought. I had decided in 2007 that I wanted to change my life. I was tired of living the worlds way. Now know that I had accepted Jesus as my saviour since I was 19 I believe in 1999 but I knew nothing about serving God then and started to learn more in 2007. So I was fully committed to serving God or so I thought. I would go to church any change I would get, I would help out in the church any change I would get. I would only listen to Gospel music and watch TBN. I would go to church events and so on. Now don’t get my wrong this was an important time for my development, however I was still a baby in Christ who thought she was strong and knew it all. I had ended a relationship a little before that and I was happy because he did not believe in staying celebate and thought I was crazy and was not going to stay celebate now after we dated for years. So good that something happened and I broke it off with him.
So here I was serving God. My heart was in it, however my heart was more in finding a man of God then in God himself. You see I was tired of the world kind of living and just wanted to get married to a Godly man to not have to deal with the world kind of ways anymore. Ooh how wrong was I 🙈 forgive me God. I was selfish and I think that even serving God at that time was out of selfishness ( more like what “good life” can I take out of this for me) I know I feel terrible writing this, what was I thinking 🙁 I want to be honest here it might help someone. Praise the Lord.
So to my surprise at the time, a couple of months later my best friend (also ex when I was in the world) came to my doorstep. He brought back the promise that he had made years before of coming to get me to be his wife when he was done with his old life ( this should of already been a warning sign) So I laughed and said well I’m sorry, I’m serving God and decided to stay celebate until marriage. And of course his answer was: I know you are the one for me, I will change my life and serve God with you and we will stay celebate. It sounds so romantic, however it’s all wrong. Nobody should start to serve God for another person. Anyway, we got paptized together on March 23,2008.
Nobody explained to us that It would become harder after baptizing. Well we stayed celebate for 3 months and then failed. I got pregnant fast and our relationship went downhill. We did plan to get married, however I just wanted to be married because that’s what people do and I wanted to follow. I’m happy that I placed the marriage in God’s hands and that I prayed to God to have his will done and not my own. We never got married, every time when the subject would come up there would be a huge fight and we would lay it down for a while. I’m happy God did not give me the want I had at the time . Know that I was not happy at the time, I got really mad at God for not letting the marriage come to pass. However I now praise the Lord it never happened, God truly knows what is best for us. During our relationship, sadly my relationship with God became less and less.
Fast forward about 7 heartbreaking years and two kids later (who I love very much) and you are at my breaking point. The time were I could not take it anymore and started to cry out to God to get me out of this. It took about another year for the final breakup. After that , the healing process started which took about another year. Letting go of the fact that even though we got babptized together which I thought meant that he was surely my Godly sent soulmate ( a lie the enemy used to keep me put for years) and letting go of broken dreams. Then it took another year to let go of unforgiveness towards him. He had clearly said: if you leave me you are on your own with the kids. Well two years of being a single mother most of the time can definitely bring up hate. The hurt he caused my kids to have, the broken promises, crying and annoying kids for days because of their dad. So I did the natural I stopped him from seeing the kids all together and God started to work on me. Two wrongs never make a right and how can we as believers of God live with unforgiveness towards a broken person and in general? It’s very important to understand that we are all sinners and need Jesus, for those that don’t have Jesus who can they fall back on? What can draw any unbeliever to God? Certainly not hate and unforgiveness.
This brings us to last month, where I was finally able to forgive the father of my kids and being content where God has me. The two years of single season have thought me allot which includes the transformation of girl to woman.
One of the many important aspects that I learned is that: Marriage is not just about companionship. No, Marriage is about Ministering together to others to draw souls to the kingdom of God.
This brings me back to: do you feel left out and forgotten by God in your single season? Would you want to go through what I went through just to not be single? Think very deep on this one, I suggest you say no.
God has not forgotten you and he is not punishing you. God is preparing you to became the man or woman of God that your partner needs in order for the both of you to minister to advance the Kingdom of God. It takes allot of work from your side to prepare yourself as a husband or wife and most of the preparation happens in your single season, not when your are married. Do you want to be a blessing to your partner to advance the Kingdom together or do you just want to be married?
And If you are honest with yourself are you ready, really really ready God’s way or do you want to not be single anymore only out of selfish reasons?
For me? I would leave that Answer in God’s hands, seriously because only he knows the extend he created for us in a couple setting. We might think we are ready however only Jesus knows if we are truly ready for the assignment given to us by God.
No God did not forget you, God is protecting and preparing you until you are ready for your Godly partner. You have nothing to worry about. Use this time to become the Godly husband or wife God wants you to be, use the Bible as your learning tool. And at the right time God will act upon your behalf according to his Divine Will.
Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV) For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Habakkuk 2:3 (KJV) For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.
God loves you much❤️