This was a hard lesson for me to learn and believe me I have sufferd because of my own choices. People say a donkey does not hit his head twice at the same stone, well let’s just say that this must mean the donkey was smarter than I used to be in this area 😂
Love was always very important to me, thus the reason I looked for it in the wrong places. I believed that love was meeting a good looking man with some good morals (man of your dreams) And that nothing else would matter, live happily ever after.
Just date a couple of months and after a while live together – as if you are married – all the while you are not.
Soon enough the problems started, the person was not as amazing as they seemed to be at first and life went down hill from there. And I just could not understand why something that started out so amazing could cause so much pain now.
I could not get out of the relationships because I had created soul ties with men I had no permission to create soul ties with – simply because they were not the man for me.
I grew up in Holland and for the ones that don’t know, in Holland you learn from a young age that it is okay to date as long as your parents know about it. I was never thought the right way of marriage simply because my parents did not marry in the right way. I had a twisted vision of what real love was all about and I just wanted to copy my parents GOOD part of their marriage.
The problem with this was it had not worked for my parents and it did not work for me. In the beginning I thought it was just the wrong man it would sure work with the right man. Well it took me until I was 34 years old to understand that this was not God’ s plan. A relationship outside of God was not going to work perfectly period.
I had cried to God when I was 21 years old and very young in my walk with God. I asked God to please get me out of the relationship I was in at that time. God did take me out, after enough crying and praying and believing God. However it was not easy, It went paired with pain, lost dreams, uncertainty and it was a huge struggle. I made it out because of God’s help. There I was a single 21 year old mother who was nothing short from a mess.
You must think ooh and she never went back, that is true until I found my next perfect man ( in my eyes at the time). I was right back at start however this one was even more difficult because he became a Christian too, we got baptized together and stayed without having sex for 3 months because this was important to me. He promised he would marry me and I wanted to wait until marriage before I started dating hiM and I told him and he agreed. But after being baptized together nobody told us it would get even harder, so needless to say we failed because he found the Christian walk boring and was missing the old. We used to be together before I changed my life and we already had sex when we dated before. ( Don’t get me wrong we were both wrong in failing) Satan used that we got baptized together to keep me connected to this man for several years. Everytime when I thought this could not be it, he would say but you got baptized together nobody does that.
We were baptized together yes but his love for God was not as strong as mine. As time went by my love for God was also being compromised. We should not be unequally yoked the Bible says, well we were just that. I would pray and cry out to God – make him a true believer please, you can turn him around. The problem was he did not want to turn around, he loved the clubs and rap music and everything that came with it, his old life. He wanted to become a famous rapper not a follower of God at the time. This may change one day if it is God’s will, only God knows.
It took me some time to realize that this was not going to work. But I stayed because we now had two kids together and I already had 1 daughter from the previous relationship. I told myself God would want us to stay together for the kids, however was this lifestyle really better for my kids? – No it was not.
On the night that I prayed and asked to remove him from my life (if he was not God will for me) – I cried and I could not stop. I just could not speak the words out – my heart was not in it. Eventhough I knew he was not the one. That prayer was a struggle and painfull and I prayed it over and over for a period of months, it took a long time before my heart followed that prayer. It finally did in October 2014 and God listened and answered my prayer. I have been single ever since and I will wait for my God ordained husband because I want nothing less than God’s best. Somethings unfortunately you only learn because of extreme painfull situations, however I’m thankfull for them: I learned so much.
When I was in those relationships marriage was a topic However I’m happy I prayed to God at those times and asked him for his will to be done – I never got married to them. Something would always come up and it would just not happen, praise the Lord.
Now I always had hoped that my parents would of taught me the right marriage in God. However my parents don’t even know about it. God placed on my heart to write this today, maybe more parents don’t know and this might help a person that would want to know the right way of marriage.
In Genesis God created Adam and noticed that everything he created was good except for Adam. God created Adam alone to name all the animals and plants. When Adam performed the work God had assigned to him he noticed that all animals were in pairs however he was alone.
God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep, then took out a rib from Adam and created Eve. When Adam woke up he found beautiful Eve and said you are flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone.
You see he would love Eve as his own flesh and bones because she was his God ordained wife. God created Eve for Adam. Eve never went looking for her Adam, she was sleeping. Adam noticed Eve while she was still sleeping.
Your God ordained husband like Adam will ask God for you because he noticed he is alone. In the right time God will bring him his wife and your husband will regognize you as his wife because he has a close relationship with God. He prayed for you before he even knew you, he loved you before ever seeing you because of his communication with God. As you are bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh he will be careful not to hurt you by leading you to sleep with him before marriage. Because of his reference and fear of the Lord he would not dare to lead you astray for his own pleasures.
A man who loves God will love you in the right way. God created men to lead their family as the head of the house. A man that can’t control his own body is not fit to lead anybody.
God says in: James 1:8 (KJV) – 8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
Matthew 5:27-28 (NKJV) 27 “You have heard that it was said to those of old,[a] ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[b] 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
You might say: well but I know relationships were two people were together without marriage and were married afterwords and they are happy. Well – ask those people to share all the hardships they had to endure because of it. Additional look for a couple married God’s way and living out God’s purpose together and compare the two and then decide if the first couple is really happy and successful in their marriage and walk with God. God created marriage for his purpose and not for our own selfishness.
For me I rather wait on my God ordained husband, I learned my lesson the hard way. God never gave up on me and no matter how stubborn I was he loved me unconditionally. God is love, he knows what is best for me – there is no greater love than God.
Look at Adam an Eve, Adam called Eve bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh – Now that is truly being one together – however you may decide for yourself.
Genesis (NKJV). 2: 18, 21-24 – The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
But for Adam[f] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[g] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’For she was taken out of man.”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
A man who loves God must be a man that leads you into righteousness and desire for you to be pure in front of God. Ephians 5:27. Do not settle for a man that puts his own needs before the spoken word of almighty God.
God loves you much❤️